Escorting is not so much a job as a lifestyle, and your boundaries get tested and reassessed very quickly. I'd always thought a threesome must be a liberating experience, and soon I didn't flinch if I counted four other escorts in the room.
It's when you see an orgy as part of a normal day that life slips into a slightly surreal and complicated mire. The sex was always empty. Being an escort is not about intimacy and certainly not about love. It is simply a transaction. There is no flow, no shared experience, just buyer and seller. Money was never discussed because the agency settled the rates beforehand, but while on the surface we were there to enjoy each other's company, the unspoken assumption was that I had been paid for and so would do as I was told.
The only time I felt the power shift in my favour was when the client was nervous or seemed to be very taken with me. I wasn't flattered, but I did feel more in control. By and large, the clients fit a similar demographic - between 40 and 60, and extremely wealthy. Such men exist in a world where money can, literally, buy anything, but even within this culture there are hierarchies. As one client told me, "Rent boy just sounds vulgar, dirty".
Even I had to admit to feeling superior; the word "escort" conjured a more romantic image.
Regulars were the easiest to deal with because I knew what to expect. It was new clients who made me anxious - a mixture of expectation, uncertainty and just a little fear.
I didn't have boyfriends, although other escorts did; some even dated each other, which seemed far too complicated. I'm old-fashioned in that respect - when I do go out with somebody, I'm monogamous. I can't see the point otherwise. Despite all this, in recent months, the phone has been turned off. The truth is, I've never felt cheaper.
Valued against my morals and my dignity, the cash didn't seem so great. The money is transient, but there is one permanent now, one unchangeable truth - I can dress it up any way I want, and use all the avoidance tactics I'm so fond of, but I've sold myself for sex and will have to live with that for the rest of my life.
There is an urban myth that only drug dealers and escorts need two mobile phones, and I can tell you it's truer than you might think. I always try to establish some sort of dialogue with the client. I pretend to believe everything they tell me, especially when they conjure up a fictional identity. I listen to them and make them feel special because they're paying to be the centre of attention. Some clients tell me I'm better than their therapist. How they choose to pay me usually reflects their character.
Smug clients casually hand me money like they're paying at a toll booth, the shy ones act like it's a present — which I hate because I worked hard for that money.
The more uninhibited refer to it as a fee, acknowledging that I'm a professional. The romantic ones put it in an envelope with a little message, while the old nostalgics pay by cheque. Then there are those who just leave the money on the table or sneak it into my pockets.
What do you do if you don't find a client attractive at all? I don't take any sexual enhancement pills, so foreplay or my imagination can be really important to get me going. But even when my client is a really hot guy, I can't fully enjoy it because they're paying me.
The second experience that was crappy was with an old regular of mine. Questions we need answered. It was new clients who made me anxious - a mixture of expectation, uncertainty and just a little fear. Queer Voices. Confessioni di un marchettaro The Number One:
It's not someone I met randomly, I can't let go as much as I would with people who aren't my clients. Have you ever agreed to have sex without a condom? People who sleep around are normally the ones who are most worried of getting an STD, so it's rare that you're asked to do that. I always have safe sex — it's not worth the risk.
What are some of the weirdest requests you've received? Even though I've been doing this job for years, I still get shocked by certain people's sexual fantasies — mostly because they rarely have anything to do with the act directly. Once, a client turned up in a nappy. Another time, a customer tied the condom in a knot so he could take my come home.
Someone paid me so he could come over to mine and do my house chores. Apart from that, there are always plenty of people who pay to be insulted, beaten and tortured. In your adverts, you say you can provide both top quality and low cost services. How does that work? I don't have a fixed fee — I accept the maximum amount a client is willing to pay. That's just how I choose to sell myself. At one point I just started calling myself the best on the market, so that clients would think of me the same way and actually help me become the best on the market.
That's what marketing yourself is all about. My clients like me because I offer something they won't find anywhere else. It doesn't matter if someone else's ad lists a few extra centimetres height or dick length — a client wants quality. Is it hard to have a relationship when you work as an escort? Yes, it can be. In my experience, people prefer to have a partner who cheats on them on the sly, than accept the idea that monogamy is an outdated social construct and that true loyalty lies in mutual honesty.
fernandaypaloma.com/wp-content/require/whatsapp-espiar-numero.html I've made various attempts to start a relationship, but it has never been easy. Perhaps one day I will meet the right person.